Weathered: Don't Stop Dancing
by Misha
Summary: He had stopped living when he had lost Lily and he wasn't sure he knew how to start again.


Weathered: Don't Stop Dancing   
By Misha 

Disclaimer- Everything belongs to J.K. Rowling and is not mine, however much I might wish differently. I don't own the songs either, sorry, they all belong to Creed. However, I am not making any money off of this, so please do not sue me! 

Author's Notes- I decided to do something different--write a collection of song fics, each one set to a different song from the same album. Each story is completely seperate from the next, none of them coincide. In fact, I use a variety of pairings and ratings throughout the series. There's everything from Harry/Hermione to Harry/Draco to Ginny/Sirius and everything in between. One of the few pairings that I don't have in here is Ron/Hermione, 'cause I just can't bring myself to write it. Sorry. Anyway, this just one of the stories in the series. I hope you enjoy it and choose to read the others. 

Pairing- Snape/Lily 

Summery- He had stopped living when he had lost Lily and he wasn't sure he knew how to start again. 

Rating- PG   


* * *

_At times life is wicked and I just can't see the light   
A silver lining sometimes isn't enough   
To make some wrongs seem right   
Whatever life brings   
I've been through everything   
And now I'm on my knees again_

He had been through it all. 

Life had thrown many curve balls at him. Some good, some bad. 

But the good, never really made up for the bad. Or at least the one bad thing that he had never recovered from. 

The one that had left Severus on his knees crying for many years. 

Whenever he thought that he had moved on, something reminded him and brought him to his knees all over again. 

Life had brought so many different things, but it also kept bringing him back to this place and this feeling. 

_But I know I must go on   
Although I hurt I must be strong   
Because inside I know that many feel this way_

He knew that he had to push aside the pain and keep on living. 

He had to be strong. After all, he was hardly the first person to have a broken heart. And other people survived. 

And he would too. 

That's why he carried on with his life. It was hard at times, but then he thought of Lily and what she would want him to do. 

And that made it easier. She would want him to be strong. 

And for her, he would try. 

_Children don't stop dancing   
Believe you can fly   
Away...away_

Severus watched his students and wished that he could tell them to enjoy their lives. To savour every moment and to never give up hope. 

But he wasn't that type of person. 

But he felt it. 

Whenever, he saw his students and their youth and happiness, he would remember and he hoped that life would be different for them. 

That they would continue to embrace life, to truly live. That they would not have to force themselves to live, as their mind and soul were trapped in the past and didn't quite know how to let go. 

_At times life's unfair and you know it's plain to see   
Hey God I know I'm just a dot in this world   
Have you forgot about me?   
Whatever life brings   
I've been through everything   
And know I'm on my knees again_

Life wasn't fair. 

He knew that better than anyone. 

Why else would he have met Lily and loved her, only to lose her? She was every dream he had ever had and she had slipped by him. 

She had married someone else and then she had died, leaving him forever. 

After that, he figured he could go through anything else that life decided to dish out at him. After all, there was no pain that could ever compare to the pain he had felt when he had heard the news that Lily was dead. 

That was the single most horrible moment of his life. And he had spent the last fifteen years reliving it in his head. 

It would haunt him for the rest of his life. 

_But I know I must go on   
Although I hurt I must be strong   
Because inside I know that many feel this way_

Before he had known her, he hadn't known that you could feel that deeply. That you could love someone with every breath in your body, that you could hurt even more. 

Lily taught him how to really feel. 

He had loved her more than he ever knew you could love anyone and losing her had caused him more pain than he had ever imagined. 

But, he now knew that he was not the first to feel that pain, nor would he be the last. 

And that though he would always feel it, he still had to go on. 

He had to be strong, to pretend that he didn't feel it. But that was okay. 

Because his love for Lily had always been a private thing and he liked being able to hide it away and keep it from the rest of the world. It was his and no one else's. 

_Am I hiding in the shadows?   
Forget the pain and forget the sorrows_

Sometimes it was easier, to hide behind his image. 

To be the dark and brooding potions master. It allowed him to hide his feelings. To escape the real world. 

He didn't have to face other people. He could retreat into himself and not have to worry about being hurt. 

But he knew that he couldn't do it forever. 

Someday, he would have to start dealing with the real world. Someday, he might even have to forget his pain and sorrow and try to find some happiness. 

But he didn't know if he was even capable of it. 

Didn't know if he would ever be able to feel joy again. 

_But I know I must go on   
Although I hurt I must be strong   
Because inside I know that many feel this way_

Severus remembered what it was like to truly be happy. 

He remembered what it was like not to have a care in the world, to laugh and smile. He hadn't felt like that in many years. 

He hadn't wanted to. 

But maybe he should at least try to recapture that feeling. 

Maybe he needed to do more than just exist. 

Maybe being strong meant having the ability to really live again. To let go of his grief and his embrace his life. 

He just didn't know if he had the strength for that. 

_Children don't stop dancing   
Believe you can fly   
Away...away_

Of all his students, there was one that he watched more carefully than any of the others. 

A boy that most people, including the boy, thought he hated. 

But he didn't. Oh, he hated the man that the boy would forever remind him of, but he could never truly hate the boy. Could never hate anyone who was part of Lily. 

Deep down, Severus would always be grateful for the boy's presence, because that meant that Lily would never truly be gone to him. 

So, he watched her son carefully, and hoped that this boy would never change. 

That life would not come along and rob him of joy and wonder. That he would never stop believing, like Severus had. 

For Lily's son, he wished a life that for him, had died with Lily. 

_Am I hiding in the shadows?   
Are we hiding in the shadows?_

He imagined her sometimes. 

Sometimes, he thought about what she would say if she saw him now. 

He had the feeling that she would scold him. 

Lily wasn't the type to hide in the shadows. And he didn't think that she would approve of him doing so. 

He wasn't even sure he approved. 

But he did it, because it was easy. 

And maybe it was time to change that. Maybe it was time to start living again. To stop hiding and to start trying to recapture at least a little bit of what had died with Lily. 

It had been a long time since he had stopped really living and he wasn't sure he knew how to start again, but for Lily he would try. 

Because, deep down, he knew that if she were with him, that was what she would want. 

The End 


End file.
